The Onion may as well pack it in, seeing as how reality is proving more ridiculous than satire:
Because if you get your news from the professional gaslighters we call “mainstream media,” you’ll never hear this:
Weird-looking sky this morning…looks like solid overcast to the west, but the sun’s out over here.
What’s that on the side of the German Communists’ headquarters?
Antifa: Communists since 1932.
Just landed in Las Vegas.
Heading to MSY…flight’s delayed 20 minutes. Hopefully it won’t be delayed further.